A Place to Stand
Independent women are dangerous: they know they don’t need a man to survive.
The Dalai Lama on Sex, Attachment, and Marriage

It seems that in society we don’t really talk much about Sex, Attachment, and Marriage. Sure, the media glorifies sex, attachment, and marriage, but what it wont tell us is the effects of glorifying such things actually does to us. The media has and still does affect everyone, but its time to take a closer look into the reality of Sex, Attachment, and Marriage, and address what all of these things really mean.

The Media portrays that to live a happy life one should grow up, get a job, get married, have kids, and die. Can you see how painfully distorted this picture is?

The Dalai Lama Speaks on the issue of Sex:

“Sexual pressure, sexual desire is short period satisfaction. But often, it leaves more complications. One of my friends, a Canadian, was a Buddhist monk, but after some time, he disrobed. Now he complains about so much sexual pressure, that’s he’s virtually trapped. Obviously, due to sexual pressure, people marry. Soon after, they divorce. Again, they marry, and may divorce again. Divorce in a marriage which has produced children is terrible. In marriage, there is short period of sexual satisfaction, but there are many ups and downs. Monks or nuns have been trained to master their desires, and there is many less ups and downs. Monks, nuns, naturally as human beings have desires for sex, it is biological. But then, those who marry always have trouble, and in some cases it leads to murder or suicide. So, that is the consolation. We miss something, but at the same time, we live better lives. More independence, more freedom.

On the issue of Attachment and Marriage:

“Human attachment becomes an obstacle to peace of mind. The attachments brings a trap. Whether it is to a person, to substances or whatever, it is a trap. Monks are detached. One of the practices in all major religions is detachment. Don’t have too much attachment, and you’ll be contented. You have it in Catholicism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, all major religions. You should be contented. Contentment means some kind of personal check, but it doesn’t mean we no longer have desire. But attachment and desire should be separate. Without desire, then life is meaningless. Desire for good, for more service to others, desire for more benefit to others. That makes your life more meaningful. Genuine desire, with reasons, with logic, that’s proper desire.”

My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg